Not The Only Way but...

ESSEX

Essex,
Concrete and country
living side by side.

Essex,
The estuary ebbing
to ankle deep
at Shoeburyness.

Essex,
A kick in the balls.
Unwarranted.
Unasked for.
Unexpected.

Essex,
A bloody nose,
the cold bludgeoning crack.
Blood snot soil and tears.
A kick in the head.
"Want some more?"

Essex,

A massive fight
at the disco. five
hundred fists flying.

"I'm not having this"
Says my brother,
going to sort it out,

and him only 5ft 2.

Essex,

Digging up contraband
from an industrial dump
to sell to kids at school

for a quid.Fags and porn.
You won't believe the stuff
you can get in Holland.

Foreign Holland that is, not Clacton on Sea.


Essex girls:
Short skirts, high heels
and corn beef legs.

Busty and lusty.
A bit mouthy.but
no easier than anyone else.

They just don't give a fuck what you fink!

Essex,
I love you and I hate you.
You are in my head
and up my arse.

Essex,
Where my dead are buried.

Essex,
Getting an old boy to row
us across to Point Clear Arcade
for 50p.

Essex,
When winter was colder.
Snow drifts as high as the station roof.
Hood up, head down first, backwards
sled-free tobogganing
in the gravel pits.

Essex,
Where the kids from Grays
tried to stop me leaving
the train at East Tilbury.
Me, kicking one in the head
as my English teacher
alighted from the next carriage.

Essex,
First kiss. First fondle.
First finger. First fuck.

Essex,
When West Ham won the cup,
everyone was blowing bubbles.

Essex,
The ever burning flame
over the oil refinery at Coryton
always visible from the 3 bed-bungalow
where my uncle Ted died
and we all lived for two years.
Nine of us.
And two dogs.

Essex,
Me and Lawrence Preston
walking to the station from school.
Him getting roughed up
because his dad is from Trinidad
and his mum from round here
so his skin is a half way blend.
Naive, I asked,
"What was that about?"
"Dunno." He lied.

Essex,
The Basildon Peace Festival 1986.
Me, kissing a girl who
looked a bit like Fergie.
The Princess. Not Sir Alex.

Essex,
Brian Patten reading at the Towngate Theatre,
before the Tory council shut it down.
Me, too shy to talk to him

in the bar
at half time.

Essex,
Getting blown in the library
at Thurrock Technical College.
Not handing in the crucial essay
because the pages
were stuck together.

Essex,
Playing cul-de-sac cricket
in the street.
The curb at the end of the road: four.
Over old Maggie's fence:
six and out and you had
to knock and ask for the ball back.

Essex,
Tits first, she said,
putting down her chips.

Essex,
Colchester nil
Brentford nil.
One miserable January Saturday
in nineteen seventy several.
Freezing on the terrace.
Boredom. Bovril at half time.
When we got home,
the dog had died.

Essex,
The next time you tell
an Essex girl joke.
Remember this:
one great aunt
two grandmothers
one mother
ten aunts
three sisters
six cousins
and two nieces.
And me and Billy Bragg
might just come round
and do you.

Essex,
Twenty years in the West
and I am still an ex-pat.

Essex.
I am never going back.

Essex.